Shower thoughts

Dear world,

Today was quite the interesting day. As most happen to be these days I find. As I've really enjoyed how cathartic it is to blog, I think this will become a more regular thing for me.

Although I mentioned in my previous post I would not post about you anymore, there's still something to say, and probably will be for a while.

I wish I could go back to that day you came over and we were going to draw in the park. I don't know why I didn't entertain the idea more. I mean wtf was I thinking. I've actually recently got back into drawing lately, and been thoroughly enjoying it. I drew my favourite rocket (the infamous Saturn V). And if you don't know what this is, you should. It took us to the damn moon. My papa used to draw these for me when I was young. A good artist he was.

I also wish I could go back to that one time at breakfast when you wanted to play some weird knuckles game. I suggested we play sticks instead, which failed miserably. I didn't even know the rules to the game I suggested, bloody goose.

I miss the mushrooms at that random cafe. That breakfast was so bomb, and those soy lattes were unreal. Delicious. The walk afterwards too, critiquing peoples running technique, and the birds in the trees. A truly blissful day. And I wouldn't change anything.

The way you would go dead legged when I held you. Never had that happen before, and the first time you did it I was genuinely shocked. How I miss this. So random.

I especially enjoyed you talking about your art and the different coloured pencils. It was the most striking thing I noticed in your art when I first got to know you, and the reasoning even more so. How you would pick at random a pencil and force yourself to use it, because it was good for the brain. How cool. The squid too, and you not liking the black part of it, which happened to be my favourite bit. The bold stroke of the drawing. Maybe this is why it didn't work. A slight but significant difference in our cores. Or maybe I'm just dramatic lol. This I already know.

I can't even pleasure myself without the thought of you creeping back into my mind. I would consider porn, but fuck that. I hate porn. I watched it wayy to young and I think it's fucked me up a bit. So many people I know watch it regularly, and it just can't be good for you. It gets easier to visualise over time, and I find it way more pleasing. Reliving memories...

Sometimes I wish I hadn't met you yet, and you came later in life. Like when I was ready, but this is what everyone thinks right. You always wish it was the next. But I don't regret a thing, I'm glad we spent the time together we did.

I want to thank you mom for instilling within me that it's okay to cry sometimes. And I know how soft I can be, but you've made me who I am today. I love you too dad, but you can be an asshole sometimes.

Now onto some showerthoughts of my day...

Something that really triggered me today, and often does, was the sight of this squid and his partner out the front of the cafe after ordering sitting down both on their fucking phones. The morning was fucking glorious. Like, the clouds were perfectly parted. The sun was bright but not too bright. The wind was slight, but fresh. God dammit give your parter some attention and the world around you.

This was common today. Most people that order and wait outside go straight to their phone. Such a common reaction to 'waiting' for anything. Seriously, just go anywhere and look for 'idling' people. What did we used to do? Chat to the person next to you? Stand/wait in silence? Think about some weird shit that happened that day or another? The brain is so cool, but we're not treating it very nice.

Something I want to do and have for a while is get a little notepad and just jot down little things throughout the day. I do it on my phone occasionally, but it's so distracting.

I’ve recently realised maybe four poached eggs is a bit eggsessive (sorry).

What is is an appropriate way to translate 'just a trim' to a hairdresser without it meaning four kilometers?

Why is mariocart split vertically and not horizontally??

Why do people assume a regularly sized coffee is a small? Everyones regular is different..

Why do I consistently get blue shelled on the last lap or swiped by it when not first?

Why does someone keep taking letters from the free wifi sign at work???

My right sack is pretty painful. Think I should get it looked at.

Beautiful things don’t ask for attention (thanks, Walter).

Reading more, meditating but I won’t bore you with that shit.

If you're reading this at present or a later date, I thank you. And question. Why are you reading this lol.

Anyways, enjoy the rest of your day, wherever you are, in whatever situation

Warm regards, Oskar