Expectations

Not exactly an original nor interesting title. But it will suffice for now. Something I've been thinking about as of late is how our expectations can guide our lives. More significantly than I once thought.

Recently, a friend of mine has been going through a hard time. Something I think we can all relate to on some level. But this particular set of experiences they had gone through have jaded their experience of reality. That is, it seems to me, their objective lens over reality is blind to much goodness. Instead, when something goes wrong, they chooses to accept, as if this was meant to happen. As if this is the life they’re meant to live. A sad reality to exist in. I’ve been in this situation before, and it’s quite uncomfortable.

It’s been a painfully slow process, but I’m in a much better place now. Through regular meditation and contemplation of ideas such as acceptance and journaling I’ve been able to make a change. Something that worked for me was realising that I had tried to make a change with my hands tied behind my back. In order to live ‘easier,’ work is required. And I don’t mean this in literal sense of the word. I haven’t quite got an apt description of this yet but I’ll do my best.

I think of it like this. Dishes suck, but what sucks more? When they pile up, and the problem becomes too large to ignore. Then you spend the day cleaning the place up. You might even do your room, or the shower. And you feel great. But you’re exhausted now, and the pile begins to rise once again, and the cycle repeats. If, however, you just did the dishes straight after eating, as much as it sucks because it’s not part of your ‘natural’ decision making process, it feels a chore. But over time you find its easier to do after eating and becomes part of your routine. Over time again, you realise you have more time for other activities, and you don’t ponder on the state of your kitchen anymore once you’ve left the house because you did enough work to maintain the kitchen. I’ve gotten better at keeping my kitchen tidy, and as a result, I feel I have more time for other things.

Something else that has helped is keeping myself full. My sister recently said to me in passing, an anxious mind is not helped by an empty stomach, and I realised something in that moment. In my days off from uni and work, if I don’t get a meal in early in the day it can really throw me off. So I started eating something straight after waking to get me going. This was surprising to me, as I thought I was quite aware of my body and mind, but again, humbled by the experience. There is always much to learn from others.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here. These are just some disorganised thoughts and ideas I’ve been thinking about lately I felt like writing about and thought someone might relate to.

Wherever and whatever you are, I wish you well.

Until next time,
Oskar